I’m just kidding! I know where I am. I’m unsuccessfully trying to hide on my porch and write something witty while being yelled at by a four year old with an attitude problem. I have been working on this paragraph for at least an hour, during which time I have put the dog out twice, mediated an argument between 2 out of 4 kids, and tried to look concerned while my husband had a nervous breakdown over auto insurance quotes.
I’ll be 35 next week, and today I attended a college orientation I scheduled in May of 1999. I was only 18 years late! Let me fill in a little background: I graduated High School when I was 17, the perfect age for making life altering decisions. About a week before my college orientation, I decided that I would learn a lot more hitchhiking down the southeastern coast with a 26 year old felon, so I disappeared for a couple of years. I did get a heck of an education, but it cost me my dream of earning a PhD in Psychology before the age of 30. I lost the felon to a traveling carnival, gained my beautiful first daughter at 18, and set off on a very long and bumpy road to our future happiness.
Last year, I finally got my school-related shit together and earned my first degree as a 34 year old wife and mother of four. Somewhere along the way, I realized I like books much more than people, and writing more than talking, so I got an English degree. It’s a stepping stone to a Master’s in Library Science… only partly to justify the ridiculous amount of time I spend in libraries. My grown-up plan is to become a children’s librarian so I can show children the world of knowledge and adventure that waits within the pages of books, and also set up really cute seasonal book displays. My self-indulgent fantasy plan is to become a published author and see my name on a library shelf one day. In the meantime, I’ll do the very 2017 housewife-needs-a-creative-outlet thing and write a blog.